It’s 2023 and you either just toasted champagne when the ball dropped (impressive) or had sparkling cider with your kids at 8 pm in your fancy sweats. Either way, it’s a new year and you’re hopeful and optimistic. Maybe you’re hoping that this will be the year your baby will sleep through the night or that your little one will hit some major milestones. Or maybe you’re hoping to get into a workout routine for yourself that you will actually stay committed to. You tell yourself that this will be the year that you organize your playroom, finally go through those junk drawers, make those photo albums, and cook more dinners. You, my friend, are determined. You’re going to slay 2023 (as the kids say).
Okay, so back to reality. Yes, New Year’s resolutions can be a positive thing. I’m not hating on them. In fact, I make quite a few myself each year and sometimes they stick and sometimes they don’t. Resolutions can definitely make you motivated and yes they can jumpstart the process and be beneficial. But in my opinion, they are the equivalent to starting a fad diet. It’s not going to work out and you’re not going to be consistent if it’s extreme and unreasonable.
Every year I hear people say that they’re going to eat healthy. Yes, you can eat healthy and you can be successful but it’s not going to a long term thing if you force yourself to give up everything and only eat carrot sticks. The same goes for resolutions with our parenting goals. To wake up on January 1 and to claim that you’re never going to feel frustrated and raise your voice is just setting yourself up to fail. I really feel that we as parents want to be so perfect for our kids so often because we love them so much that we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. I find that when I have a not so proud moment with my kids, usually when I have become so overwhelmed and frustrated, that I just have to take a step back and remove myself so that I can breathe. Then I usually come back and explain what happened. I have absolutely told my kids that mommy was frustrated and sometimes when that happens, she has a reaction. And that it’s okay to feel in the moment as long as we can get back to a calm place and talk it out. I want my kids to know that I’m not perfect and that I have my moments, too. I am very big on talking things out, especially why we feel the way we feel, even when we get angry. I have even told my kids that sometimes mommy slips and says bad words and that she’s going to work on it (shit).
So this year, my New Years Resolution is to work on having patience with myself, as well as with my kids. And it’s not to say I won’t overreact or get upset. I am human, I’m not perfect, and I am entitled to feel my feelings good and bad. I will not set an unattainable goal of never becoming overwhelmed. That’s not realistic in any way. But I will set small goals: I will always communicate why I’m feeling the way I am. I will always apologize when I’m wrong. I will always be accountable for my actions. And I will always remind myself that it’s okay to have a moment to myself to reel myself back in. I deserve it, and so do my kids.
As for unrealistic resolutions, I still have a few things on my list that will always be there and make me laugh. 1. Stop spending money at Target. 2. Drink less coffee. 3. Less mindless scrolling on Instagram before bed. One day I’ll get to those… one day! Or maybe never…