You like to remind everyone that you used to be fun. “When I was younger, I used to get dressed and go out! I wore real clothes and talked to grown ups! I had a life!”
You like the music they play in the grocery stores. 🎶 I bless the rains down in Africaaaa! 🎶
You rock your body as if you’re pushing a stroller or a shopping cart even when you don’t have your baby with you. “Hi, don’t mind me! I’m just rocking my phantom baby!”
You hide the good snacks from the kids and eat them in the bathroom. “Put those peanut butter M&MS down! That’s junk! It’s only for mommy! Go eat a piece of fruit!”
Your kids have nicer clothes than you. “Aww, Mommy got you a brand new outfit from Janie and Jack! Oh, you like my leggings? Thanks! I’ve had them since grad school!”
You’ll sit in the car just to have peace and quiet. “Woosa.”
Workout clothing qualifies as going out clothes, regular clothes and pajamas. How versatile!
The sounds and songs of Cocomelon makes your ears bleed.
JJ from Cocomelon actually has a hot dad. Don’t judge me on this. Watch and see. Cody’s dad is cute, too.
You have bags under your eyes and can easily pass for Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Just me? Okay.
You clean up the same toys a million times a day and threaten to throw them away. You never do.
You dread thinking about what to make for dinner. Can’t they just eat cereal?
You want to go completely nuts on whoever hurts your child, but then remember that you have to be the adult. Don’t mess with mama.
You love Moana. That movie is pure genius.
You need coffee in the morning and in afternoon and are now immune to the caffeine. Just hookup an iv at this point.
You run a few carpools a week and joke about how you Uber on the side. It’s not even funny, but we all say it.
You have no problem screaming at a bad driver, “Slow down, kids live hereeeeee!” You have now aged yourself to a ninety year old woman.
You’re constantly buying birthday party gifts. Forget it, this kid is getting a gift card.
You’re constantly unrolling dirty balled up socks. Why though?!
You’re reheating your coffee at least three times each morning.
You finish your kid’s food. Nothing like cold mac and cheese.
You can’t wait for bedtime, but then miss them while they’re sleeping, so you scroll through photos from the day while not really watching Netflix. Grey’s Anatomy on repeat!
Your kids drive you insane, but you love them more than life itself.
Tell me… what did I miss? Drop a comment!
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